Ramblings Of A Not So Normal Girl.

FCUK!
My Motherboard's been destroyed!
FCUK! FCUK! FCUK!
Aaarrrggghhh....
Shouldn't just lend any Tom, Dick or Harry my laptop in the first place...
Doesn't help being kind sometimes...
Lucky I still have my warranty.
Suerte.

Sigh.
What now.
Exams are coming and I'm still struggling to finish those chapters.
Stop procrastinating now Mandy.
Since when do you not care about your future anymore?
Strive hard. It never really hurts. :)

Oh.
I finally met up with her after all these months.
She got me an Addidas bag...
Thanks alot. :)

I'm so glad CNY's over.
Not a pleasant one for me this year...
I hope it gets better after this.

By the way,
my attachment's coming soon.
Right after the exams...
So this Sat will be my last race?
Yeah. :)

Oh my.
What's gotten into me?
I haven't been this happy/optimistic/cheerful in years?
Haha... All smiles all over my blog... :)
Nothing gotta do with CNY...
Heheee...
It's something else. :)

Ah...
And Idon't know why?
But this just came into my mind after watching "Nobody's Child".
My dream guy:

• Mature.
  
• Street smart.


• One who has been through alot of hardship.


• Loyal.


• Passionate.


• Strong.

In simple words, a man from the streets. (Not to be misinterpreted, though.)

Well, guess I'll stop here for the time being.
Been all dreamy recently.

Lol...

Planting seeds and hoping it would grow into stars one day...

P.M.S

This is not a abbreviation for Pre-menstrual Syndrome. =D
Rather it's the abbreviation for my new found friendship with 2 friends.
Paulyn and Sharon (Haha... I know, it'a a funny abbreviation but we finally settled on this cos it reflected our freaking siao antics!)

Paulyn
a.k.a. Miss Sophisticated.
Koh May Shan. 18. Cancer. Unfaithful. FUN HOUSEWIFE. Kuso.

Mandy
a.k.a. Brat/Miss Independent.
Mandy Lim Ming Xin. 18. Scorpio. ?. UnWeakGer. Love Story.

Sharon
a.k.a. B with class (She called herself that).
Sharon Abdullah. 21. Sagittarius. Big sIs. low.

Love you girls! Though it's a few months of knowing Big sIs and a few weeks for May. But yeah, you gals are great fun. My comfort from this cold cruel world. Here's to our friendship. May it be as strong as the toughest steel; and as deep as the ocean. Here's to a lasting friendship!

Besides that, I also have a Godmum and Goddad now.
They are a Malay family and Andy is now my GodBro.
I miss them and love them alot too...
Sorry I can't meet up with Mum and Dad.
Can't wait for the upcoming BBQ!!!

Big sIs promised to teach me Malay.
Until now also haven't teach. =.=
I'm leaving soon le leh...

Oh god, I'm so gonna miss you girls.
I can't bear to leave this place man.
It's become my haven, my only place of comfort and they are the angels that God have given me.
My Guardian angels.
I promise that I'll meet up with you gals frequently after that.
Oh god... I'm so not looking forward to it.

Sigh...
Still feel like there's a part of me that's still not fulfilled.
I feel like I'm half of something much greater.
And I'm still searching for that other half.
Roaming around halved, hollowed and incomplete.
Where in the world's corners is he?

Crossroads.

He is forgotten.

All the memories erased.

Like it never happened beofore.

It's too bad it ended up like this.

I'm moving on.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you about him.

But I guess you sort of knew.

Rest assured that he disappears from me.

I'm at the crossroads now.

I appreciate the things you have done for me.

But the problem lies in me.

I need to straighten up some things.

Be sure that this is what I really want.

I know my avoidance has hurt you like I don't care.

I just need to be sure that this is what I want.

Let's stick to just being friends for the moment.

I'll let you know when those are cleared.

I know it's very unfair for you.

But I think I should think things through.

I'll need some time.

And I won't ask you to commit yourself all too readily for me.

However, I really like you to know that I greatly appreciate you being there for me.

Even when I've gone all crabby sometimes.

Thank you for trying to make me happy.

A Letter...

I've done it.

Waiting for it.

For him to give an answer.

No reaction.

Nothing.

Whatever.

I'm tired of waiting for something that's never gonna work.

It won't happen.

Not when he's so egoistic about everything.

Just wanted friendship first.

This is really gonna be the last.

I just can't do it anymore.

The Equivalent of A Death Sentence.

Finally, just created this new blog yesterday.

I apologise for the ugly skin cos I tried uploading the HTML codes but I couldn't solve the errors...

Still working on it and I hope I get it done soon!

I'm in this Battle for 4 complete months now.

My end is near and I'm forced to go back- it was in the agreement.

Honestly, I don't mind staying put- I can take it; in fact, I've been doing fine all along.

I can't imagine myself conforming to his will.

The brutality that was done to me for the past 14 years.

I have seen and learnt so much these past few months.

Fending for myself in the real world.

I fought my way through and through.

Managing school with work, training, chores and appointments with those professionals.

Independently.

I must say it was hard for me emotionally though.

Because I'm really vulnerable.

Extremely, extremely vulnerable.

My yearning for that something became more intense.

It was difficult.

I begin to clam up from people because I knew no one would understand my complete and total vulnerabilty to this situation and what I was going through.

No one would know what I have to go through, and how hard I fight to get to where I am today.

Alone.

By myself.

With no one beside me, with me.

I can't go back, I'll be tortured to death by his ingenious, cunning ways.

And I'm counting down.

Miserably.

16 days left...